Planning

Been asked to plan your first hen do? Or maybe you’ve organised one before and it was a bit of nightmare? Here are my three planning tips to help you on your way.

Tip 1: Ask the bride

I can’t emphasise enough how useful the bride can be in the planning process (unless they’ve turned into a bridezilla, more on that later). You don’t want the bride to arrange the event herself, or to know exactly what you are planning, but if anyone is going to know what the bride wants from the hen do, it’s the bride. So make getting an insight into what she’d like an occasion - from a cup of tea and cupcakes at yours to a celebratory glass of fizz at a nice bar.

Questions to ask

  1. Dates - what’s her availability? Are there any other considerations? For example, do you need to avoid term time if she has teacher friends?

  2. Location - what’s her preferred location? This will have a big impact on budget so it’s worth getting several options.

  3. Guestlist - who does she want there? Does she want a separate do for family?

  4. Rooms - who knows each other, who doesn’t? Who will and won’t get on? You won’t necessarily know everyone coming, so this will save you a headache later down the line.

  5. Activities - anything she does and doesn’t want to do? Worth getting a view on strippers, butlers in the buff, penis paraphernalia etc. at this point!

  6. Food and drink - favourite tipple, delicacy, sweet treat or snack?

  7. Vibe - something wild, mild, or in between?

  8. Budget - what does she consider a reasonable per person budget to be?

Tip 2: Talk to the guests

The hen do guests can come in handy if you’re struggling to make decisions or are feeling overwhelmed with the responsibility.

Creating mini surveys can help you establish anything, from the food and drink preferences of the group to what activities they’d most like to partake in. Giving everyone a say can help take the heat off of you a little bit.

If you prefer to plan alone however, that’s absolutely fine. One thing definitely worth checking with the guests though is whether they have any allergies or dietary requirements to consider. Allergies can stretch beyond food and drink and rule out certain activities, such as foam parties, glitter face painting etc. so it’s useful to have this information up front.

Survey suggestions

  • Breakfast - continental (e.g. cereals, bread, pastries, fruit, yoghurt) OR cooked (e.g. eggs, bacon baps, sausages etc.)

  • Drinks - fizz, white wine, red wine, rose, spirits, soft drinks

  • Activities - spa treatment or assault course, wine tasting or pottery making

  • Need to know - allergies, drinking or not drinking, health conditions etc.

Tip 3: Take control of the budget

This can be one of the hardest parts of planning a hen do, but here are six lessons I’ve learnt along the way (although I am no financial expert!).

  1. Ask the bride for a view.

    She’ll know her friends, their likely budgets, what she has spent on their hen do’s etc. and will hopefully give you a realistic ballpark to play with.

  2. Be clear on the budget up front.

    Communicate this before asking people for their availability and definitely before asking people to commit to coming. The budget will be dependent on the final numbers, so establish a budget range, e.g. £300-400, and communicate the higher figure. This will give you some wiggle room. It’s only fair to be clear on this from the start and will avoid guests being left in an awkward position and, fingers crossed, pulling out unexpectedly which will just give you more budgeting dramas.

  3. Account for as much as possible in the upfront budget...

    From the big stuff like location, activities and food and drink, to the little things like decorations and goodie bags (which you can easily end up paying for yourself if you’re not careful), the more you can include in the upfront budget the better. Guests will feel that they’re getting good value for money if they’re not constantly getting their purse out. It also minimises the pressure on you to keep track of spend during the hen do and constantly worrying about who needs to pay for what.

  4. …and communicate what the upfront budget includes.

    Be super clear on this to avoid tensions later on. For example, travel to and from the hen do could be a key cost that’s not included as everyone will likely be travelling from different places.

  5. Put any leftover money to good use.

    If you have money left over (woohoo!) you could use it for a communal drink’s kitty for example, or simply return the money to guests. Just make sure you’re clear with guests about where their money is being spent.

  6. Beware tradition.

    I didn’t know this when planning my first hen do, but tradition states that the guests pay for the bride (which I don’t think is 100% reasonable, but I didn’t come up with it!). It’s important therefore to factor this into the budget. I do think there are limits however - for example, it’s more acceptable to cover the bride’s costs for one great night out vs. a week-long trip to Majorca. Consider what seems fair and sensible.